Stop Comparing Your Finances To Others

Kathy Healy

Hi, I’m Kathy Healy, managing partner of Healy Wealth Management. Today I’m here to help you stop feeling behind financially when everyone else seems ahead. Have you ever had that feeling like you missed the memo on how to build wealth, and now you’re scrambling to catch up? If you’ve had thoughts like these, you’re not alone. This is such an important conversation because feeling behind financially is something people from all walks of life deal with, even if they look like they have it all together.

This feeling has a name: financial FOMO, the fear of missing out financially. In 2023, a study by Credit Karma found that almost 60% of Americans feel behind financially, including many who earn six figures. A similar survey by Charles Schwab corroborates this, with their finding that only 33% of people earning over $100,000 bill financially healthy. Even people who feel ahead often feel the same way.

Even people earning six figures report feeling like they can’t get ahead. Two thirds of high earners still feel off track. Let’s break that down. No generation feels truly on track. Every generation is looking around and feeling like they’re behind. Millennials feel like they’ll never afford a home. Gen Z feels overwhelmed by debt and the cost of living. Gen X is juggling aging parents and college tuition.

Boomers are worried they won’t have enough saved for retirement. So what can you do about it? First, understand that while the feeling is widespread, it’s not necessarily the reality. If you let social media or your peers define you, you’ll always feel behind. There’s a quote I love by Theodore Roosevelt.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Financial comparison is exhausting and unfair. We all start in different places. We face different challenges. It’s so easy to compare yourself to someone else’s lifestyle without realizing they might be one emergency away from a financial crisis. The truth is, you really can’t tell anything about someone’s financial health just by looking at them. We see fancy cars, big homes, expensive vacations and assume someone must be crushing it.

But maybe they’re just really good at looking successful. Sometimes people who look like they’re winning are just really good at hiding their stress. There’s a classic book called The Millionaire Next Door, and one of its core lessons is most real wealth is invisible. People who build and keep wealth often don’t flaunt it. They drive used cars, live in modest homes, and prioritize savings over status.

So how do we stop feeling like we’re falling behind? Especially when the pressure feels constant. Let’s be honest, most of us have stumbled at some point. We’ve impulse shopped on Amazon at midnight. We’ve missed a bill or avoided looking at our credit card balance. We’ve told ourselves it’s just the economy. When we know deep down that our spending habits need a reset.

Don’t get me wrong, the economy does affect people. Housing affordability is a challenge, but we still have to own the parts we can control. Here are three mindset shifts that help people reframe the whole idea of being behind. First, remember that this feeling is common. You might feel behind, but compared to where you started or what you’ve overcome, you could actually be doing great.

Second, define what ahead means for you. If your version of success is based on someone else’s timeline, you’ll always feel like you’re losing. Maybe for you, being ahead means knocking out debt or having the flexibility to work less or being able to retire. Write down your own definition of financial success and then pick one step, just one that helps you get closer to that.

And finally, focus on progress, not perfection. Are you saving more than you did last year? Did you start investing in your 401K for the first time? That’s huge. We tend to discount small wins, but they really do compound. At Healy Wealth Management, we say a financial plan is the bridge between guessing and knowing instead of feeling worried.

Take a realistic look at your situation. Assess where you are and where you want to be. And most of all. Don’t let comparison to others steal your joy. Thanks for watching this video. You can subscribe to our YouTube channel or visit our website for more, or give us a call if you’d like to discuss your financial plan.